So far this year i’ve been very reckless. I’ve always considered myself a responsible person in the past but reflecting on that now I’m not so sure i’ve been acting that way lately. I’ve been reckless with my friendships, reckless with my own safety at times, and reckless with my responsibilities. I think this is part of growing up and becoming an adult. I like having fun, but sometimes that involves being reckless. I think I’m struggling to find a balance between having fun and being responsible.
Last night I was stage managing this musical and it was in Coquitlam. Because I live in Surrey i’ve been doing this commute for some time. By the time we cleaned everything up it was quite late, around 11:00. Since the show was over I assumed everyone was going to celebrate. Then I realized I hadn’t planned to stay anywhere. Not wanting to be stranded or inconvenience anyone I decided to head home. I was going to take the bus but then someone offered (decided rather) to give me a ride to the skytrain. I know that they were just looking out for me and didn’t want me to be alone outside late on a Saturday night but I couldn’t help but feel a little bit like a child. Then I got to thinking about my driving situation. I currently have my learners permit and I am not sure if i want to get my full license. I don’t feel that the carbon impact of that choice would be worth it just for little old me to get around when i’ve been successfully using transit for so long. Also, i’ve been looking into possibly becoming a bicycle commuter. That aside, even if I did drive I don’t have a car, or money to finance a car, or a stable job right now. And since i’m in school I want that to be my focus, not working to run my car to drive me places I can already get for free. Also, if I had had a car and had been able to just drive off alone last night, is that really any safer? I mean, people get mugged and attacked going to their cars. I’ve never had any issues on transit but I know that things do happen. Maybe the key is to not be alone. If I had driven off to celebrate with people I might have ended up in a situation where I shouldn’t have been driving home and without a place to stay that would also have been reckless. Maybe that’s what growing up is though, choosing responsibility over fun sometimes and not putting yourself in those situations. In the end, me being driven (as opposed to taking this bus) to the skytrain didn’t stop me from having to walk home after midnight in the somewhat shady area I live in. So perhaps going home wasn’t the safest choice either. I assumed my Mom would pick me up like she usually does but I learned I shouldn’t just expect things like that. I suppose the key is to plan in advance. This is also challenging because I am a firm believer in going where life takes you and following the adventure, but perhaps this is a reckless attitude. I think I have some growing up to do.