How To Be Alone

How To Be Alone.

This is one of those quirky, beautiful, lovely things. Like Juno only shorter! haha.

This year i’ve spent a lot of time alone and really think i’ve learned to be okay with that. I’m turning 19 and i’ve never been on a proper date or in a relationship and that is alright. I look at some unhappy people in unhappy relationships and I am grateful that I have just myself to worry about.

Even with friends though… My friends have changed a great deal recently and are continuing to do so. High school has ended and university is still just beginning for me. People are moving away and growing apart. Change is unavoidable and unrelenting. “It’s all for the best” as a wise musical once said (Godspell FTW).

My Mom recently commented on how much time I have been spending at home and to be honest I don’t think it has been an outragious amount, validating concern. Have I become a hermit without realizing it? And if this doesn’t bother me is that worrysome?

A few weeks ago I had a wonderful conversation on top of a rooftop in Vancouver. It was a beautiful day and the whole thing felt something like an honest, raw, offbeat short film. This girl who came here for school mentioned how sometimes she doesn’t have many friends. I was so grateful for that statement. I think in life, from my experience, there are busy times with lots of people to see and places to be and then there are quiet times of solitude and reflection. Some people like to deny it or think less of others but really there is nothing wrong with being by yourself. No matter how many lovers and pals you acquire you still need to go to sleep on your own and wake up with only you in your head. I sometimes feel I have to justify going places by myself. “Oh, I’m here alone because…” What should it matter if I have come alone? I am here now and we are conversing. That is all that matters… right? We all have some places we must go alone.

I think though, that there is something to be said for the people we meet in our alone places and the ones who pop up when no one else is around. I don’t know if that makes sense but this idea has been toying with me for some time now.

Maybe i’m all wrong. Isn’t one of the most important things in life to build community? To connect with others?

I suppose balance is the key. I’m really grateful that I have learned to be by myself and also to be with others. Really, “being” itself can be a challenge. I accept.

Journey Forth,

Jenni

7 thoughts on “How To Be Alone

  1. Wonderful Jenni! Hi, I am Patti (Miss P or Redwoodgal) and am a fellow Superforester. I was so delighted to see this wonderful post on “Being Alone” as such a positive experience. You are asking important questions and I do have to say that being a million years older than you (I’m a lovely 54) my “aloneness is a bit different I think due to all of the life I have led thus far. But… It’s still just what you say… You go to bed alone (unless you don’t;^}}) and you wake up “in your head alone”. Great input and thoughts on the reality of our lives. Yes, I agree that we need the essential “community” building in our lives but I have found now that there are so many venues for doing this. Balance, moderation, openness and acceptance are all a part of this journey.
    I think at your beautiful age you will find so much more strength and wisdom by starting now to think of these things about your life. I just returned from our local Farmers Market to which I went to BY MYSELF… with a Flip cam!!!! HA! Imagine the looks on peoples faces when they watch me talk into the camera! I’m still getting used to doing this but it is fantastic and I have so much fun with myself doing this silly recording of an event I am loving to be at and want to share. I will have it posted by the end of this weekend on my blog if you’d like to watch me being alone and having fun with organic produce… hee, that sounds so funny.
    Thanks for “pinging” back? Is that what it is called? I love your blog and I’d like to keep track. You are welcomed to join mine if you like too. I’m not sure how it works between WordPress and blogger. But with others I have just copied their URL and placed it in my blog favorites/follow.
    Have a wonderful day with yourself and/or with those who you love being with ~
    Patti

    • Yayy for Farmers Market’s and flipcams! Haha that made me laugh. I’ve been to the local farmer’s market a few times but I wasn’t courageous enough (or coordinated… need more arms!) to document it… YET!
      And yes i’d love to watch you being alone and having fun with organic produce HAHA : ) I subscribed to your RSS feed and look forward to future updates!
      PS: You sound like a really cool “earth” Mom! Love it!

  2. Pingback: Movie Theatre’s and Charlie St. Cloud « i'm on an adventure!

  3. I was just having a conversation with my friend about this the other day, about how lonely I feel,
    I don’t feel lonely in the sense that I lack friends or lack anything to do with social interactions, I just feel like someone is wanting to be with my right now, and I can’t (somehow) be there, or realize it, even if I do want them to know. And me not being there creates this feeling of loneliness with myself.
    I strange, and I detest it..

    • Awe Justin! I wish I could relate but that sounds really complicated, I hope your loneliness turns into joy though! Next time we hang out you’ll have to explain : P

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