Dreamtime!

For a long time I gave up on the things I really wanted and settled for mediocre dreams. Forget that (Cee Lo Green style). People told me I wasn’t good enough, and that I’d never make it, and that can’t do it. Too short, too fat, not a US citizen, pitchy, talk too fast, not connected enough… But I am done with that.

Truthfully I have been on this kick since I saw the “Katy Perry: Part of Me” movie with my Mom this summer. I only get one life, why am I wasting it chasing my boring “attainable” dreams? It’s time to go big or go home, and if home is where the heart is then big I must go. During my later years of high school and the start of my university career I really settled into a frame of mind which let go of all my big aspirations, the dreams that are so exciting and so improbable that I’m scared… But that is the place where living truly happens for me.

But what will I do? What are my dreams? They have been quietly growing inside me for the past few years… Slipping out in the odd twitter post, inspiration, impulse to take an acting class at SFU, trips, meeting new people, the desire to audition… Professional role model, public speaker, leader… All guises for what I have really wanted since I was little…

I want to be a star. but not just any star, I want to be an entertainer, a famous entertainer. And I want to use my powers for good. I way to show the world my compassionate vegan self am bring more love into this Earth ball.
I think “entertainer” is a good word to describe what I want to do. I really have so many interests in so many things that it’s hard to choose… Comedy, music, acting, speaking… But there are people who get to do it all, and I want in!

Things I want to do:
Be on SNL (hosting or as a cast member)
Perform for a stadium arena
Write a book
Release an album (music or comedy or both)
Be in a movie
Host an awards show

I just have this feeling inside that this is what I was born to do. I am scared it will be hard, but self: you are special, you are unique, you are worthy… And you can do anything with enough perseverance and faith. If its not here yet, It’s just around the corner.

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Free-Writing Inspiring by Indiana’s Thunderstorms

lightening strike003

The real cowboy. There’s a story in her eyes.
This is the place where idea clouds brew.
Where the lightning strikes the dawn anew.
Where poets die nourished for only they knew
To express- not detest this sprawling, wandering, golden-eyed tattoo.

With a flash
The paparazzi of the sky
Ambushes us from up on high
With a slash of light
At night it’s time to strike

In the darkness the room is a million miles wide

I could choose to get and angry or frustrated or cry, but instead I’ll choose to be happy and I don’t have to know why. And I could choose to be tired or burnt out or wrecked, but I’ll smile instead and laugh with the best.

Frantic feet might dance in the street but when they get on stage they keep the beat.

The bar doesn’t water down their drinks but my melted ice does a mighty fine job.

BAM.

Today…

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Today I…

  • Posted stuff on craigslist
  • Thought about Russell Brand
  • Did Laundry
  • Ate Banana Maca Smoothie
  • Went to school
  • Had Class with Dancers and Theatre Students at SFU where I
    • Did improvisation
    • Made improvisation overly sexualized because I figured Russell Brand would approve
    • Decided that pleasure is in fact merely the absence of pain
    • Realized that everyone looks like a star in the right lighting
    • Affirmed my recent commitment to become famous
  • Wondered if my nectarine had some sort of mould
  • Took photo of aforementioned potential mould
  • Pondered keeping it to perform experiments on
  • Decided I should write about my thoughts and musings for the day to entertain other and practice my comedy.

Cheers.