THIS IS BEING ALIVE: A Very Rough Draft

So earlier I had one of the un-ignorable fits of inspiration that took me flying down Hastings on the way to do my radio show. Written/Chorded/Recorded in about 90 mins total. Here’s to a very rough draft! Cheers.

THIS IS BEING ALIVE

It’s like running to catch a train

That you know you’ll never make

And then somehow

You just sail through the door

Or someone holds it open

Cause we can’t move mountains on our own

And that’s when

That’s when you know

This is being alive

When all the odds defied

When you jump and then you fly

You succeed after you try

You know you know

This is what is right

Your mission matches your life

(Your mission is your life)

And somehow

Simultaneously

I want to throw up

And swim the sea

Cause I could win at anything right now

This is more than being lucky

This is just believing something

And maybe

Maybe This time I’m just right

That man doesn’t believe in love

And that man can’t feel god In His blood

But I can and it always brings me home

And I think of

That feeling when you know

You’re doing something right

Maybe I’m just crazy

Maybe this is what it means

To be manic an uncontrolled

Living in dreams

But I don’t care that I can’t explain

And I don’t care what’s wrong with my brain

I’ve got a feeling

Oh oh oh

Had some well spent time

There’s peace under my eyes

And it shows

I feel like I have a glow

And I want the whole world to know

That were doing better everyday

Yes we are better every day

I’m on the wrong side of the street

And there’s needles on the ground around me

But I don’t care an I just wanna scream

How much I love everything

And I wanna cry

Cause I am more than happy inside

We Day! And a song!

Today I was part of the Vancouver We Day Crowd Pumping Team! Wow! I felt happy, sad, moved, inspired, uncomfortable, energized, tired, confused, clear, hungry, full, disappointed, overwhelmed, amazed… and more! What a day! I spent 11.5 hours at the arena (arriving at 6AM today) and still went to improv practice after! Bam!

I have been writing SO MANY songs lately (like 5-7 a week!) and I have decided I need to start sharing some of them and putting the music down so I don’t forget the vision I have in mind when I write. I really wanna be in a band but I don’t have time at the moment so I have to plunk my own guitar haha.

I have more thoughts I want to share later but for now I was inspired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Demi Lovato’s messages (at We Day Today) to write this song:

For My Children – Lyrics

VERSE ONE

When I think about what I need

I got clean water and a place to sleep

I’ve friends and community

but there’s something missing

separation that I see people hating and being mean

I want respect for everybody

PRE-CHORUS

That’s the world I want to live in

A world that I want for my children

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

VERSE TWO

It is easy just to blame

Other people for our pain

If they’d only change their ways

“The world would be much better”

We all have a role to play

You contribute everyday

We have to work together

PRE-CHORUS

That’s the world I want to live in

A world that I want for my children

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

BRIDGE

Structures are in place that make it hard to see beyond the struggle

Hating only add more hate. I think that love’s the only way to move beyond… and make the world incredible.

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

Dreamtime!

For a long time I gave up on the things I really wanted and settled for mediocre dreams. Forget that (Cee Lo Green style). People told me I wasn’t good enough, and that I’d never make it, and that can’t do it. Too short, too fat, not a US citizen, pitchy, talk too fast, not connected enough… But I am done with that.

Truthfully I have been on this kick since I saw the “Katy Perry: Part of Me” movie with my Mom this summer. I only get one life, why am I wasting it chasing my boring “attainable” dreams? It’s time to go big or go home, and if home is where the heart is then big I must go. During my later years of high school and the start of my university career I really settled into a frame of mind which let go of all my big aspirations, the dreams that are so exciting and so improbable that I’m scared… But that is the place where living truly happens for me.

But what will I do? What are my dreams? They have been quietly growing inside me for the past few years… Slipping out in the odd twitter post, inspiration, impulse to take an acting class at SFU, trips, meeting new people, the desire to audition… Professional role model, public speaker, leader… All guises for what I have really wanted since I was little…

I want to be a star. but not just any star, I want to be an entertainer, a famous entertainer. And I want to use my powers for good. I way to show the world my compassionate vegan self am bring more love into this Earth ball.
I think “entertainer” is a good word to describe what I want to do. I really have so many interests in so many things that it’s hard to choose… Comedy, music, acting, speaking… But there are people who get to do it all, and I want in!

Things I want to do:
Be on SNL (hosting or as a cast member)
Perform for a stadium arena
Write a book
Release an album (music or comedy or both)
Be in a movie
Host an awards show

I just have this feeling inside that this is what I was born to do. I am scared it will be hard, but self: you are special, you are unique, you are worthy… And you can do anything with enough perseverance and faith. If its not here yet, It’s just around the corner.

Time to Move: A Song for a Sunday Night

I have had a tough few days emotionally. I have been feeling really sad thinking about many terrible things that are happening in the world (for example…) and today that experience turned into a song.

I heard recently that the reason the new Jason Mraz album took so long was because he wrote tons of songs that didn’t make it on to the record. I have decided that I want to start finishing a recording as many songs as possible to practice my performance and presentation skills. Even if some of them are depressing like this one, or things I wouldn’t want to be MY song, I think it is all part of the creative process that I am getting in touch with. So here goes.

G

I can say thank you with a smile

C

But I’m weeping

Em

all the while

Em

The pains too great, This sadness makes me

C

weak

D

and weary

G

I can pray all day and night

C

But that wont make things

Em

alright

Em

Our world is sick

C

inside

Em

The light is hidden

D

by the night

G

There is something telling me it’s time to move,

Em

Weather I stay or weather I go there’s a part of me I’ll lose

C

Either way maybe it will all work out the same

D

Cause I’ve lost hope in the status quo

D

And I need help to travel

A7

through

G

Wish I could change the world I see

C

but I can’t do it

Em

just with me

Em

the world is wide, the web is

C

finely

D

connected

G

I want to stop all of the pain

C

without creating foes

Em

to blame

Em

the sun hurts

C

my eyes

Em

I wish for guidance

D

through the fight

G

There is something telling me it’s time to move,

Em

Weather I stay or weather I go there’s a part of me I’ll lose

C

Either way maybe it will all work out the same

D

Cause I’ve lost hope in the status quo

D

And I need help to travel

A7

through

REPEAT

G

Today.

Transit Romance 135

Bus Stop
Today I had such a romantic bus ride! I’ll probably never see the guy again (but then, with my ironic life you never know haha) but it was really cool just to share a moment with someone. This nice curly haired boy was sitting across from me smiling and after avoiding eye contact for what I realized was no reason I finally looked back at him. He was rocking out to some song and then laughed when he saw me watching him. After a minute he offered my a headphone so we both leaned across the aisle to share a moment of music. It reminded me of lady and the tramp a little bit… only less messy and meaty. Then more people got on so we had to severe our connection. The seat next to me became available and he moved into it. He kept playing different songs he liked and it was really cool to have this completely stranger just share the things that made him happy with me. I shall share with you some of the cool songs I discovered today:

We mostly listened but exchanged a few words about instruments and some jokes I couldn’t quite hear but laughed at anyway.

I love that I can be single and still experience romance. And that connecting with another person doesn’t have to mean anything or have a future or a past. Just a moment. A shared happiness? Maybe he’s gay. Maybe he is in a relationship. Maybe he isn’t looking for one. Maybe he’s vegan. Maybe he’s not. It doesn’t matter! It was beautiful.

I considered trying to do some sort of contact info exchange but it didn’t happen organically so I got off at my stop with a name and some songs in my back pocket. Thanks Tony. Maybe this is my missed connection. Maybe it’s just a moment. Oh and we grew up in the same area… Magic!

Don’t forget to smile!

First Day of My Life

What a gorgeous song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5rhhQbyYV0&feature=related

Here are some other renditions, I have been listening to it for hours. SOOO GOOD! I love that they are all beautiful in their own way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4V7J684Zf8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXgybKePgKo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TOQPi5PdK8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXh8PBm8MsY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOgKeX5Yfe8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JuF5pl5VhA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcSom8QOpVU&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xquqDZwJ3oM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_53WNuAZ-8&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W569MKDMrPo&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmwCgE3aIxs&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP18YpgWCCI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91jOOGNNBsY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dONwVUeCWAA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-n47nB0ZCDA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Yf6PN9fr88&feature=related

…And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

First day of my life.

Bands with Girls

The Jack Bambis is Robert Downey Jr.’s son’s band. Their vocalist is female and I dig their grungy vibe.

Versaemerge is on the ever popular Fueled by Ramen label.

We Are The In Crowd toured with All Time Low this summer.

 

 

Paramore is the band of the incomparable Haley Williams. She rocks my socks.