I think Angsty Music Makes Me More Angsty

Circa February 2012:

This past weekend I went to see some of my favourite bands play downtown – ALL TIME LOW! Mariana’s Trench, These Kids Wear Crown… oh and the headliner Simple Plan. I mainly went to see the openers and I was really excited to enjoy the mosh pit and throw myself into other people for a few hours.

It was super squishy at the beginning – we were almost like an ocean the way the whole crowd swayed together – literally leaning on one another during ATL. I was glad that a bunch of girls actually started a pretty wicked mosh pit during Simple Plan’s set. I got my wish! Yay! I love it when dreams come true : )

MT was pretty awesome! They had glitter! And I love how harmonic their music is. And Simple Plan has been around for a really long time so it was nice to know so many of their songs.

At the very end they played one of their really old songs, perfect:

And do you think I’m wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

– Perfect, SImple Plan

I find this song awkward. I feel uncomfortable singing song of the lyrics. Maybe it’s because to me they represent an awkward phase of life… those angsty teenage years… Anywho this one really hit me. I was sitting at the back of the floor enjoying a full view of the stage, and I cried. Well almost. My eyes got all watery and my face was all screwed up. Anyways, I was very sad, but very grateful at the same time. And I think it is totally valid to feel these things and need to express them – I have written my fair share of things like this – but I can’t help but wonder if these types of songs influence the world in a negative direction.

Recently a friend of mine in Sociology was telling me that some research says that in cultures where suicide is talked about more often there are higher rates of suicide. I wonder if music describing sad themes is the same way.

And now i’m all excited to see Ingrid Michelson next month!

I Think I Fell In Love (on the skytrain)

Beautiful EyeI think I always knew that we are all of one… But I didn’t really realize it until I was staring into this boys eyes on the skytrain yesterday. It was the weirdest thing. I bumped into my transit friend again, for the third time via a bus. Usually if I bump into someone twice I assume it is a sign and some sort of divine coincidence or irony… but three times… wow that must be something special.

I am almost scared to write about it… what if he reads it? What if I ruin it? But then (as SuperForest Jackson Would Say) it is in the past, and it is already a fantasy. And it’s already open to the creation, interpretation, and the fabrication of my forgetful mind.

So basically I turned to my left at the bus stop and there he was, just standing there, reading. I said hi. We got on the bus and talked about wanting to get lost in a forest, and how gross fast food is, and what we would do if the martix was real (or is it? haha). He was really tired and kept almost falling asleep. We talked about Hippy University. He told me he lost his mind. I asked how. He said it exploded. I asked what it looked like. He said it looked like grasses. I said I think mine would look like rainbows and glitter. He said you don’t really know how it’s going to come out until it happens. I told him he was like the Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat combined. He said he identified with the Caterpillar.

When we got to the skytrain we talked about being alone. I remembered how I think we are always alone (in our minds) and how we are never alone (in the world). Our disagreements weren’t like an argument, more like one person reminding the other of a different perspective, our thoughts blowing back and forth like the wind. He mentioned how he was tired and wanted to be alone… but then said it would be ok if I was there. Wow.

He said he had decided to be awake. I wonder if it was because of me. Then, i’m not sure exactly how but we just stopped talking and were sitting there next to each other, staring into each other’s eyes. While I was looking there I was trying to see inside of him (because they say that the eyes are the portal to the soul) but I noticed that there wasn’t anything to see. It was just me and myself. I had all of the these thoughts and I wanted to write about it, and tell people, I wanted to keep it a secret, and I wanted to know what he was thinking, and I wondered if he knew what I was thinking, and then I tried to send him some intentions (with my mind) so that he’d know that I love him, and then I wondered what he were trying to tell me by just sitting there and staring at me. And I watched him almost fall asleep, going in and out of consciousness, and I laughed because I know what that’s like and it was beautiful. I didn’t want to move. My heart was beating and I was ever-so aware. I realized that we were having a moment of being alone, together.

Part of me wanted to ask for his phone number or someway to contact him, but I didn’t want to do anything to ruin that moment or to change, it because it was wonderful.

Later I was pondering how unintentionally and amazingly romantic he is… the words he said, his eyes… but then I realized it isn’t him – it’s me! I think that romance is all open to interpretation. I can see something or hear something and think it is romantic – and then I create it to be that way. I was singing this when I got home…

I didn’t mean to waste the water
but I couldn’t feel my hands
I stood outside in the rain for 10 minutes today
and I wondered what role in my life that you’d play

I find this incredibly ironic because I often joke that if I had a pick up line it would be, “remember that time I starred at you?” BUT NOW THAT HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Anywayy… similar to our last meeting…

I love that I can fall in love a million times a day. And that connecting with another person doesn’t have to mean anything or have a future or a past. Just a moment. It was beautiful. Maybe this is my missed connection. Maybe it’s just a moment

Swimming is awesome! Yay!

swimming?
From Wikipedia:

Swimming may refer to:

Movement and sport in water

That definition made me laugh : P

I went swimming for what I thought was the first time in years (but later realized I went swimming in California this summer haha, I am a lucky bum) recently. I am taking both dance and acting this semester at school and because of that I am intensive physically active for 2 to 3 hours a day, 4 days in a row. Last week I GOT SUPER SCARED because my knees turned purple. They looked like “knee hickey’s”. My Mom asked if I was crawling around. I wasn’t. I went to the doctor and was told that my knees are just overstressed (too much plié haha). He recommended I rest them and go swimming.

swimming

Wikipedia says:

Swimming is an excellent form of exercise. Because the density of the human body is very similar to that of water, the water supports the body and less stress is therefore placed on joints and bones. Swimming is frequently used as an exercise in rehabilitation after injuries or for those with disabilities.

Swimming Panda

It might be all in my head but my knees feel nice now. And I smell like chlorine haha.

Dive Meet 4

Oh and I had good pool talks too. I love my friends : )

Today I…

Photo by Andrei of Wintercoast

Photo by Andrei of Wintercoast

  • Made fresh squeezed orange juice!
  • Made a Kale Salad!
  • Had a clearing conversation!
  • Bumped into a friend at the Bus Stop!
  • Went to the top of a mountain!
  • Gave a gift!
  • Printed posters!
  • Attended a student dialogue about experiential learning!
  • Went to a meeting!
  • Supported a student initiative!
  • Planned a trip to Victoria! YAY SO EXCITED!
  • Applied for and was granted funding for an event!
  • Had a life realization!
  • Fell asleep on a bus – literally! haha!
  • Saw Captain Charles Moore – credited with discovering the Great Pacific Garbage Patch!
  • Learned about the ocean!
  • Thought about how I can help the ocean!
  • Bought bananas!
  • Danced ballet!
  • Sweat!
  • Put up posters at SFU Vancouver and SFU Surrey!
  • Was featured in a newspaper!
  • Helped someone plan a Valentines Surprise for their partner!
  • Bought vegan food!
  • Made a vegan cucumber sandwich!
  • Finished a proposal!
  • Was inspired by people online!
  • Wrote this list!

BAM! 3 Campuses. 1 Day. 1 class. ROCKSTAR! The state of mind, not the energy drink! Life is amazing : )

Night! Dream pretty : )

What’s New in Jenni-Land

It’s been a while! I am so excited and inspired at this present moment! I want to write and share and dance and sing and jump and love and pet a cat!

So now I bring you… UPDATE ON WHAT I AM DOING!

My New Falling Whistle Came Today

My New Falling Whistle Came Today!

I have adapted and expanded my online presence. I currently maintain my Facebook Page, Twitter account, Rainbow Blog, Tumblr, THIS BLOG, Professional Website and I AM AN OFFICIAL SUPERFORESTER NOW (love it when my dreams come true).

At school this semester I am taking Acting II, Dance (we are doing Contemporary/Modern Ballet) and “Writing for Design, Media and Informatics” which I need to graduate. What an amazing semester! I am at all three campuses and downtown at the new Woodwards campus 4 days per week! Love it! I am close to Gorilla Foods too hehe

I am still running The LOVE Club (Living Opposed to Violence and Exploitation) at SFU and am an active member of the SFU Improv Club. My big projects at the moment include the LEAD Project I am mentoring and some stuff for the Student Society. And I’m working with the MOB to raise funds to build a school in Berna this year. Oh! And the media collective I am starting with some awesome people! Good things to come : )

I am still contemplating my next year… the semester in dialogue? an internship? citystudio? Graduate on time? So many options! I love living in possibility.

Oh and as usual I have been spending a great deal of time pondering how I can… bring more love into the world, reduce the trash I produce, eat more raw organic food and sillyness! Yay sillyness : P

But enough about me… (Or in the words of the theatrical adaptation I saw of “The Idiot” by Fyodor Dostoevsky recently… “I’ve talked way too much but it’s because I liked you all immediately”)

What are you up to? What is inspiring you today?

Yay! Love!

Jenni

Transit Romance 135

Bus Stop
Today I had such a romantic bus ride! I’ll probably never see the guy again (but then, with my ironic life you never know haha) but it was really cool just to share a moment with someone. This nice curly haired boy was sitting across from me smiling and after avoiding eye contact for what I realized was no reason I finally looked back at him. He was rocking out to some song and then laughed when he saw me watching him. After a minute he offered my a headphone so we both leaned across the aisle to share a moment of music. It reminded me of lady and the tramp a little bit… only less messy and meaty. Then more people got on so we had to severe our connection. The seat next to me became available and he moved into it. He kept playing different songs he liked and it was really cool to have this completely stranger just share the things that made him happy with me. I shall share with you some of the cool songs I discovered today:

We mostly listened but exchanged a few words about instruments and some jokes I couldn’t quite hear but laughed at anyway.

I love that I can be single and still experience romance. And that connecting with another person doesn’t have to mean anything or have a future or a past. Just a moment. A shared happiness? Maybe he’s gay. Maybe he is in a relationship. Maybe he isn’t looking for one. Maybe he’s vegan. Maybe he’s not. It doesn’t matter! It was beautiful.

I considered trying to do some sort of contact info exchange but it didn’t happen organically so I got off at my stop with a name and some songs in my back pocket. Thanks Tony. Maybe this is my missed connection. Maybe it’s just a moment. Oh and we grew up in the same area… Magic!

Don’t forget to smile!

Jenni Meets Jesse: An Interview (and the best birthday ever)

This September I had a really amazing birthday. It was more of a weekend than a day really. On Friday I helped with the Frosh (kinda like University Orientation, fun games for first years to meet people etc) for my program at school and then went to Gorilla Food with my veggie friend Kyla. Then we got scalper tickets to the Ke$ha concert and had a glittery good time (my highlight was the giant inflatable zebra that LMFAO passed around… and the people behind me commenting on how “sleezy” the “get sleezy” tour was haha). On Saturday (my actual birthday) I helped with Frosh again and then got to see some awesome girls I haven’t seen much since High School. Sunday was a day of rest. I hung out downtown and then went for dinner with my Mom at my favorite raw vegan restaurant, Organic Lives.  Then…

On September 12th I had the pleasure of interviewing my friend and fellow Super Forester Jesse Carmichael before his concert in Abbotsford, BC, Canada.

BIGGEST DISCO BALL I'VE EVER SEEN

It's huge!

I was first in contact with Jesse when I stayed at Zero One in Hawaii. Jesse is a founding member of Maroon 5, and a gift to the planet.

Jesse Being a Rock Star

It was actually so funny because just as I was finishing dinner with my Mom, Jesse and his Yoga Teacher showed up at the restaurant. It turns out he had e-mailed me inviting me to meet them but I had been out all day and didn’t get the message (maybe it’s time to get an Phone? haha). Magic!

Jesse is really awesome and knew about so many awesome things. After the interview we went for a walk in the parking lot and sat by some trees where he told me about a bunch of awesome things. For example, I learned about this awesome TED Talk on the power of Mushrooms. Fungi is amazing!

I also was inspired to participate in the 9/11 Intention Experiment (people from all around the world focused their intentions on bringing peace to a very specific region of the Middle East and they are going to track the results).

 

Special Thanks to Trini Nguyen-Don and Diana Luong for filming/driving/being awesome and SuperForest.org for making this come together!

So silly! This is the only photo I have of us together... it's pretty awesome : P

AMAZING! SO grateful! What an awesome experience and what amazing people I am blessed to know.

PS: Recently this totally come full circle when my friend Jeka played “This Love” and was able to raise a bunch of money for some leadership opportunities she wants to take advantage of.

Love!

It’s b(log)een a while

WOW. So I’ve been doing too much living and not enough blogging it appears lately haha. There is so much I want to write about and I am creating not enough time to do it.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

– Ferris Bueller

These are some thing I have written over the past few exciting weeks, with the Vancouver Riot, adventures, ponders… what a ride!

Forewarning: This post is going to be delightfully detailed and horribly long.

Just as I was boarding the skytrain in Surrey just over an hour ago I was contemplating how ironic I create my life to be at times. I was thinking about the implications of this and decided that “I am ironic”. After all, if I create that to be my reality, then (as my reality and perception are the only experiences I have) then that will be my life. After this thought I was running to get to the library to return an interesting book on Emotional Clearing. i got there JUST IN TIME and was able to sign out a book I was really excited about called Sacred Commerce. At the library there was a protest about the Canadian Postal Workers strike which was somewhat ironic considering I am dealing with some labour issues at my own job. Then I started to notice the results of the Vancouver Riot. Wood panels cover the storefronts, covered in messages from thousands of people. Word of condemnation of rioters, random song lyrics, but overall and in the highest multitude there were messages of love. I think it’s a little sad that it takes a riot for Vancouver to write beautiful words all over, but I am grateful for this aftermath nonetheless. I walk through the city dazed and confused. After running to the library and being overwhelmed with my own sensory experience I bumped into a girl I used to work with. She was off to live what I think are her dreams, dancing and choreographing for big names in the city. And I was just wandering, happy. I made my way to Gorilla Foods, my favorite (raw) eatery in vancity. I think you’re great said the song playing on the radio. Then I thought about how if music be the food of life, Gorilla Foods is a very healthy place to be : )

Then I went down to Capers and got some healthy food and bumped into some more friends on the way. Dazed and confused… but smiling all the way : )

 

 

What I’m grateful for in 90 seconds

You have 90 seconds to list what you are grateful for. Go!
  • the abundance the world has to offer
  • music
  • lifelong friends
  • new friends
  • meeting new people
  • nature
  • the sky
  • rainbows
  • tea
  • breakfast
  • green smoothies
  • raw food
  • http://www.superforest.org
  • Simon Fraser University
  • design
  • photoshop
  • IAT 233
  • trampolines
  • dance parties
  • not knowing what is coming next
  • good choices
  • bad decisions
  • lessons
  • hot showers
  • slippers

 

This was an interesting exercise (thanks to j.mraz for the idea : D hehe). It really got me thinking. There are so many things I didn’t have time to list. Laughter, sunshine, my parents, my life, theatre, improv, laughter yoga, trapeze, mysterious happenstance, good listeners… I could keep going. I think the lesson here is that we have so much to be grateful for and there wouldn’t be time to write it all down.

Instead we can  live each minute of our lives with kindness and gratitude and bring that energy into everything that we do…

because there will never be enough time to say a proper “thank you” to everyone and there are some things you can’t “thank” in the traditional sense (ie, rainbows or nature).

NAMASTE!