Are you? Or do I think you are?

light trails

Earlier this year in a meeting with one of my mentors at SFU I realized that one way I can communicate (and love) others better is by explaining myself – and by that I mean this. I can be a very inquisitive creature. Some call it “questioning”.. it’s even at the centre of my manifesto (question everything). Often I am just curious, but sometimes my ego gets in the way and I am trying to make a point. Usually in these cases I am not understanding and fully listening to the person talking… but sometimes people might assume that is what I am doing even when my intentions are purely focused on learning and understanding. Either way, the point is, by prefacing my intentions with context (why am I asking this) I can be clearer for my others, and when my ego gets in the way – myself.

Recently I learned that there is another way I can better love and communicate with others:

I was talking with this girl who was mentioning how she was not very good with words and was not very articulate. I immediately was surprised and told her that was was, in fact, quite articulate. Someone jokingly said that of course I know her better than she knows herself. I was so surprised, I never realized that my act of faith and goodwill might be misinterpreted and offending like that. I didn’t mean that I knew her better than she knew herself. Though perhaps I was discovering her more than she was discovering herself (opening up  to limitless possibilities). I quickly rephrased my comment and acknowledgement to state that I THOUGHT she was very articulate. I wonder which has more power:

  • I think you are _____ OR
  • You are _______

I think the first option leaves less room for the mis-interpretation I described, however the second is more affirming – it creates someone to be something. It is definitive.

Now I am remembering my experience at the PostSecret LIVE event last year. I was given a book by Frank Warren that said “the world needs your voice” inside. It has become quite my self-fulfilling prophecy. What if it had said “i think the world needs your voice”. I wonder what the difference would be.

In contrast sometimes I myself put myself down – mostly by accident or unintentionally when speaking. I wish others would call me on this and acknowledge me. I think often myself and other do it unintentionally – but it does make a difference. Or… i think it makes a difference : P

YOU ARE INFINITE. I THINK YOU ARE INFINITE : )

PS: some background on this practice of acknowledgement can be found:

Cafe Gratitude is closing?

This post comes as a response to the recent announcement of the sale/closing of all Northern California Cafe Gratitude locations.

I’m gonna be honest, I have not worked at Cafe Gratitude. I have not seen any actual evidence of how they deal with compensation or tips, and I haven’t done Landmark so I can’t comment on that… however, I have had my life changed by their incredible philosophy. I learned how to love better, how to listen, and how all of that was within me to begin with.

I had the pleasure of recently doing a workshop with Matthew and Terces recently where they mentioned there was a legal battle beginning and I think Terces especially was very upset about the whole thing. It was very hard for me to watch her struggle with that. I don’t know anything for sure, but I am making up they have made good in the world. Actually, that’s not true. I know one thing for sure. Cafe Gratitude inspires me every day to live better and love more.The last time I walked into a Cafe Gratitude one of my friends in the kitchen said “Hey, this girl came all the way from Canada to eat at our restaurant.” and he was right. And I am so grateful for that.

My Workshop at ICE 2011 – Learning from Life: Unleashing Unconditional Happiness

UniverCities Conference from above

This weekend I had the distinct pleasure of presenting at the Inter-University Conference on Education. Apparently my session was one of the most popular! Around 30 people attended and the evaluations I saw were very positive. Here’s some more info about my presentation:

Learning from Life: Unleashing Unconditional Happiness with Jenni Rempel
By separating external events from personal experiences, it is possible to open a way to seeing life as a path way to unconditional happiness. This workshop will explore circumstantial learning, techniques and tools to look at life and perceived obstacles as opportunities for growth and development.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE PRESENTATION: Learning from Life: Unleashing Unconditional Happiness

The main points I was sharing were related to choosing happiness and creating a positive life. I also brought in some laughter yoga techniques as I do at all of the workshops I facilitate.

I showed a clip from this lovely lecture:

And I also played zen meditation music as people entered to set the mood.

It was really beautiful. Just sitting in the room with the sunlight sneaking in. And listening to people talk about what they are grateful for. I am blessed.

One of the main points I covered was the Cafe Gratitude Clearing Process…

So basically, it’s a conversation to get you to be present, in the moment, and living an amazing life.

There are two people: The Clearee and the Clearer.

  1. The clearer asks the clearee some variation of “what’s stopping you from being present?”, there are many ways to say this… “what’s in the way of you being here right now?”… “what are you resisting?”…
  2. Then the clearer repeats back what the clearee says VERBATIM. Simply let them be heard, without judgement, advice or opinions given. Do not paraphrase or change what they say. The clearer tries to get the clearee “out of their head an into their heart” by asking them how they feel and putting an emotion to it (letting go of anything conceptual or anything other than their experience).
  3. The clearee breathes in the emotion they are feeling, and then exhales and lets it go.
  4. Then the clearer asks the clearee a different question. Some variation of “what are you grateful for?” or “what do you love about your life?”  … “what inspires you?”
  5. Then the clearer acknowledges the clearee and tells them something empowering. Thank them for being there and be moved by them.
  6. And then they switch! That’s it!

If you want more questions visit this google group, they email two new ones out daily: http://groups.google.com/group/question_of_the_day?pli=1

There is a much more detailed description of this process in the books “Sacred Commerce” and “Kindred Spirit” by Matthew and Terces Engelhart. They also have a DVD about clearing that was recently completed.

 

 

 

Notes from Matthew and Terces Engelhart’s Webinar on Building Community

Tips for being a good leader:

  • Trust others.
  • Good listeners are good leaders.
  • Acknowledge others. Acknowledge yourself.
  • Leaders lead and adapt, without expecting others to. Leaders make change by changing themselves. Leaders go first.
  • Leaders hold space for others.
Questions to improve your partnerships:
  • Do you have any requests of me?
  • What do you need to hear from me to restore love?
  • What do I need to apologize for?
  • What do I need to be forgiven for?

“How much love presence you can generate and hold …within that community.”

“If you are authentic and loving, people will get it.”
Does your business PASS?
Profit: Does your business create revenue to self-sustain?
Awakening: How can your business cause more awakening? Question of the day?
Sustainability: Does it nurture the Earth, leave it in better shape?
Social Justice: Does your business create more opportunity for the less fortunate?
JENNI THINKS… PASS could be extended for non-business (clubs, families, individuals, non-profits)…
Extended as… MASS!
Mission: Does you fulfill your goal or mission statement?
Awakening: How can you cause more awakening? Question of the day?
Sustainability: Do you nurture the Earth, leave it in better shape?
Social Justice: Do you create more opportunity for the less fortunate?
Books and stuff to get/read…
KINDRED SPIRIT + SACRED COMMERCE + DVD COMING OUT

Today’s Epiphany

Dr. Stephen Covey, one of North America’s most respected, widely read and frequently quoted leadership experts, and author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People , defines leadership as:

Communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.

I came across this quote as part of a leadership program I completed at SFU and I started making connections to the process of acknowledgement but I did not fully realize this connection until today.
Today it was made clear to me that…

if I just change my own behavior and use my aptitude for positivity to acknowledge others, then I can fully realize my potential for unconditional love.

By living with an appreciative mindset I notice and become attuned to the good in others and BY DOING THIS I can model how other people can do this as well. Then, they will also notice and become attuned to the good in others and (more importantly) themselves.

The thing I love most about the phase BE LOVE is that I continue to understand it on deeper and deeper levels.

Please watch the videos that SuperForester Matthew posted from the Leaders Causing Leaders Conference of Matthew and Terces Engelhart HERE.

I think i’ve seen this about 10 times and I STILL get stuff out of it. MAGICAL. Seriously. We create each other, so make us beautiful.

This insight also came out of a three day workshop I am completing and book I read called Clear Leadership. Good stuff.

So, what do you want to be acknowledged for?

Love,

Jenni