the meaning of sleeplessness, butterflies, and sweat

Wow, that an amazing morning of discovery. Here was my experience when I woke up today.

observations:

  • I am tried
  • My palms are sweaty
  • My stomach is churning
  • My mouth is dry
  • I have to poop
  • I think I smell gross
  • My neck is sore
  • I feel like my insides are full of tingly butterflies
  • I kept waking up and trying to go back to sleep
  • I feel nervous and worries about nothing
  • I am thinking and overanalyzing somethings
  • My heart is beating a little faster than normal
  • I am thirsty but not necessarily hungry (because I am afraid to feed the butterflies)
Have you ever felt like this? What does this mean?
The first time I experienced this was the first day I started drinking so afterwards I figured that was the affect that alcohol had on my body. Every time I partied after that I felt the same way but today I also have the feeling. The only thing is I didn’t do any drinking or partying last night. However, I’m noticing I didn’t have very much water yesterday and I went to bed at 2AM, but ate at 7PM. I now think these are the feelings I get when I don’t hydrate and nourish myself. When I first started partying I got into this habit of not eating for long periods of time (yay for being vegan at a party) and not sleeping enough (party all night wooo). I’m so glad to have discovered this because in the future I can take care of myself better as a result! Yay!
In the past I made up some pretty funny stories about why I felt this way… I am sick, there was a boy I liked around which is causing this, I have stomach flu, it’s insomnia, i’m going crazy… I’m glad to have a new conclusion to try out : )

for the past 50 minutes…

http://iheartlove.tumblr.com/

Reading this site is like falling down the rabbit hole. It just keeps going and going and takes you to places you didn’t think you would go. And just when you think you are at the bottom it grows a little longer and little by little it is never ending. Or, at least, I have not reached the bottom yet.

I hope to illustrate this lyric soon. I learned this song in acting class:

Life is a glorious cycle of song

A ballad of extemporania

And love is a thing that can never go wrong

And I am Marie of Romania.

The instructor told us it was supposed to be sarcastic, especially the last two lines. But I agree wholeheartedly. Love can never go wrong. I suppose that makes me Marie of Romania. That is all.

Love,

Jenni