the meaning of sleeplessness, butterflies, and sweat

Wow, that an amazing morning of discovery. Here was my experience when I woke up today.


  • I am tried
  • My palms are sweaty
  • My stomach is churning
  • My mouth is dry
  • I have to poop
  • I think I smell gross
  • My neck is sore
  • I feel like my insides are full of tingly butterflies
  • I kept waking up and trying to go back to sleep
  • I feel nervous and worries about nothing
  • I am thinking and overanalyzing somethings
  • My heart is beating a little faster than normal
  • I am thirsty but not necessarily hungry (because I am afraid to feed the butterflies)
Have you ever felt like this? What does this mean?
The first time I experienced this was the first day I started drinking so afterwards I figured that was the affect that alcohol had on my body. Every time I partied after that I felt the same way but today I also have the feeling. The only thing is I didn’t do any drinking or partying last night. However, I’m noticing I didn’t have very much water yesterday and I went to bed at 2AM, but ate at 7PM. I now think these are the feelings I get when I don’t hydrate and nourish myself. When I first started partying I got into this habit of not eating for long periods of time (yay for being vegan at a party) and not sleeping enough (party all night wooo). I’m so glad to have discovered this because in the future I can take care of myself better as a result! Yay!
In the past I made up some pretty funny stories about why I felt this way… I am sick, there was a boy I liked around which is causing this, I have stomach flu, it’s insomnia, i’m going crazy… I’m glad to have a new conclusion to try out : )

film idea: secret place of secrets

So the other day I went to this kind of secluded, somewhat sketchy restaurant to have a bit of an awkward conversation. When I walked in it was pretty empty, there were only two or three other people dining. It was funny, I noticed: two truckers eating together, a couple, a lonely guy… and it gave me this cool idea of a short film. The restaurant felt a bit secret and I couldn’t help but imagine that everyone dining there was part of a secret. Sort of a secret place, where people take their secrets. The place was a bit of a hole in the wall, a quiet place… and it felt like a metaphor for the quiet secret places we hide things from ourselves.

I made up stories about the people I saw… people breaking up, people having an affair, people with secret sexual identities, secret lives, fake names…

Hmmmm. Inspiration comes in the strangest forms.

Kwan Seum Bosal

Kwan Seum Bosal

Kwan Seum Bosal

Kwan Seum Bosal

Kwan Seum Bosal is the Boddhisatva of compassion. When you chant the name of Kwan Seum Bosal, you are more or less expressing your desire for the spirit of compassion to manifest in the world.

Which is amazing. Let us all share in this : )



If you could wake up anywhere, where would you wake up?

Jason Mraz did a blog post about this not too long ago. He shared this video where they asked people the question and it inspired me to ask some people I knew. Via only textual communication I got the following responses:

  • A semi tropical island with no name
  • in my girls bed :D
  • Lol i answered this question before! Joe Jonas’ Bed! XD
  • Greece
  • My bed. if it was anywhere else id be confused!
  • Paris
  • Europe
  • On the back of a blue whale preparing for its launch into the sky
  • Jason mraz’s bed.
  • Narnia
  • the ISS (International Space Station)

I suppose that says a lot about me as well… the responses of the people I communicate with.

Any-who, this gave me a cool idea for a short film. I’m not sure that i’ll ever be able to make it a reality but it would be sooooo funny. I could call it “be careful what you wish for” or something similar. Basically what happens is people wake up in the places they requested, but not in the way they intended. For example: a girl wakes up in Jason Mraz’s bed, but he is like WTF why is there a strange girl here. Or someone wakes up in Greece, but in a dumpster in some shady alleyway… imagine the possibilities : D

And where would I wake up? In the arms of someone special, can’t go wrong there : )