I WROTE THIS A YEAR AGO

Dearest Jenni,

You did this once and it was really cool, so I am sitting writing you a letter at an airport in Toronto.

In the next year I hope you,

  • Commit to 100% raw, organic food.
  • Stop making trash.
  • Get engaged 100 times
  • Go Camping
  • Do something crazy!
  • Learn more about communicating your mission to the world
  • Do inspiring work that pays the bills and make the world better.
  • Write letter to help animals!
  • Host a French party (maybe this one takes a little longer haha)
  • Make Paper!
  • drop something off a building
  • Try stand up comedy!
  • Perform Spoken Word Poetry

You were very effective last year and I can’t wait to see what you accomplish! You are amazing. I love you.

Peace,

Jenni (2012)

Perfect Stranger

Skytrain

Today a boy I met on the skytrain. We had a little skytrain romance. Before we parted he told me my boyfriend was very lucky because I am beautiful. 

So I see you

and i’m not sure if you caught my eye

or I caught yours

but we keep meeting briefly

in the middle

and I have this urge to know why

to understand

to explain

but I don’t want to ask

I don’t want to break the perfect forcefield of dilated perfection between us

so I sit

and I make up stories that I know you

or you recognize me

or you love me

and then the more I think about it

the more familiar you look

and suddenly we aren’t perfect strangers anymore

we’re just perfect

reunited

or united

I can’t tell anymore

because the past and your unfamiliar face

has become a fantasy

today

was a beautiful day

your face

i love the way

was a beautiful day

a lovely perfect wonderful

beautiful day

I talked about writing this, and this PostSecret I saw about how sometimes people stare at people on the train because they are beautiful, and the wondering…. and I forgot to tell him he was beautiful. And inspiring. And polite. Oops.

Also, he did not mention that I am the lucky one : )

Acting Workout: When can I “do” something?

Image

Today I had my first acting class downtown with Dolores Drake. I am in her class called “The Professional Acting Workout”. I got to be downtown at night which I love, but not the late kind of night (though I got to do that too) but the sunset time of night. The twilight. When the orange (the pretty kind, not like the CMYK kind) kissed the pavilions and the streetlights and the building’s edges.

I learned so much and I really had a positive experience! So many questions and answers.

 I was wondering about how to know when you “can do” something. For example, an accent. Or a special skill. Like playing guitar. When am I competent enough and proficient enough and confident enough to put something on my resume. I suppose I could think of acting as similar to other types of jobs this way. If I don’t want to be hired for 3D Modeling, then I won’t put it on my resumé. If I don’t feel comfortable playing clarinet for a casting director, I probably shouldn’t advertise that either. My teacher brought up some good point too about getting feedback and confidence. Do [insert skill here] for people and if your peers, friends, classmates, teachers, etc. compliment you on your work, then it is something you should promote. Do you believe yourself and feel confident?

COMEDIC SIDE NOTE:

That reminds me… during the winter break this year I went on the trip to Whistler with some friends and for some reason (I can’t recall if this was before or after the alcohol but neither would surprise me) I spent a large portion of the evening pretending to be Australian (because SO MANY people we met up there were from down under). I went to a cafe with an accent (where the owners were legit Australian), I bought lift passes, I went to a bar… I drank more alcohol. LOL.

I got to read three parts today in class:

  1. A short bit from Brent Butt’s CBC show “Hiccups”
  2. A scene from a TV movie where I worked at an eyeglass store.
  3. I am now working on the role of “Lynda” from Savage in Limbo by John Patrick Shanley

I really enjoyed the class for a few reasons. Everyone is very talented. People are working. One of the guys from the last class I attended was in a commercial I saw on TV  recently! Cool! (I still get a bit starstruck : P).

Also, I really like working with Film and Television material. I was reflecting on my time so far in the SFU Theatre Program and I noticed that often with self-directed scenes from plays I couldn’t “figure it out”. What does this line mean? How do we make the scene interesting? I needed a director or outside eye to help me put things together. Perhaps it is because of all the short film work I have done from a Director and DOP standpoint, but I really “got” the scene today. There were a couple times when the rest of the class was confused but I “got” it. That felt good, to be in on the joke. To understand.

I started to see myself in roles while rehearsing in class today. This has been a struggle with me in my ongoing journey wondering if/how I should pursue acting. I am a character. I fit into role. THAT COULD BE ME.

Overall, beautiful, wonderful day. Job well done. Mission accomplished. YES.

Hey Beautiful Girl

I wrote this just now. I couldn’t sleep because I didn’t feel well but I am super glad now because being awake gave me time to do this. This is dedicated to so many people. I have been struggling with grief recently partially from loss and also from having some friends go through some tough times. This is for everybody. Girls and the girl inside.

[VERSE 1]

I know you’re out there somewhere

You might feel all alone

Far too far from home

But I am here.

I’m so far away

Wanna run to you in haste

I’ll be your ear.

Whisper if you must

I’ll return your trust

…I’m looking in a mirror

[CHORUS]

Hey Beautiful Girl

I wanna hold you ‘till it’s better

Lift you up in love

Wish I could ask the pain to pass

Raise you up above

With my hand under your heart

And my heart beside your hand

I’ll hold you in my arms

…And be your friend.

[VERSE 2]

In case you ever wonder

You’re good enough for me

All I could wish to be

Is just like you.

I love the way you fall

‘Cause your stronger from it all

You cannot lose.

It’s okay to cry

But just remember why

I wrote a song about you.

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]

Please don’t ever forget (ever forget)

Please dont ever neglect (ever neglect, ever neglect)

The one who taught me respect.

[FINAL CHORUS]

Hey Beautiful Girl

I wanna hold you ‘till it’s better

Lift you up in love

Wish I could ask the pain to pass

Raise you up above

With my hand under your heart

And my heart beside your hand

I’ll hold you in my arms

…Until the end.

We Day! And a song!

Today I was part of the Vancouver We Day Crowd Pumping Team! Wow! I felt happy, sad, moved, inspired, uncomfortable, energized, tired, confused, clear, hungry, full, disappointed, overwhelmed, amazed… and more! What a day! I spent 11.5 hours at the arena (arriving at 6AM today) and still went to improv practice after! Bam!

I have been writing SO MANY songs lately (like 5-7 a week!) and I have decided I need to start sharing some of them and putting the music down so I don’t forget the vision I have in mind when I write. I really wanna be in a band but I don’t have time at the moment so I have to plunk my own guitar haha.

I have more thoughts I want to share later but for now I was inspired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Demi Lovato’s messages (at We Day Today) to write this song:

For My Children – Lyrics

VERSE ONE

When I think about what I need

I got clean water and a place to sleep

I’ve friends and community

but there’s something missing

separation that I see people hating and being mean

I want respect for everybody

PRE-CHORUS

That’s the world I want to live in

A world that I want for my children

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

VERSE TWO

It is easy just to blame

Other people for our pain

If they’d only change their ways

“The world would be much better”

We all have a role to play

You contribute everyday

We have to work together

PRE-CHORUS

That’s the world I want to live in

A world that I want for my children

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

BRIDGE

Structures are in place that make it hard to see beyond the struggle

Hating only add more hate. I think that love’s the only way to move beyond… and make the world incredible.

CHORUS

When you’re scared, turn to love

When you’re alone, remember love

We can change the world with love

Before you judge, remember love

Show somebody that you care

Speak up for those who are not there

Treat each-other with respect

and believe in what comes next:

it’s love, it’s love, love

Psalm 30: the love edition

Inspired by Truly Tanisha : )

god is love

Psalm 30

1 I will exalt you, love
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
I called to love for help,
and love healed me.
3 Love brought me up from the realm of the dead;
and spared me from going down to the pit.

4 Sing the praises of love, faithful people;
praise love.
5 For anger lasts only a moment,
but love’s favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6 When I felt secure, I said,
“I will never be shaken.”
7 When love favored me,
love made my royal mountain[c] stand firm;
but when love hid it’s face,
I was dismayed.

8 To Love I called;
to Love I cried for mercy:
9 “What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
10 Hear, Love, and be merciful to me;
Love, be my help.”

11 Love turned my wailing into dancing;
Love removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
12 that my heart may sing love’s praises and not be silent.
Love, I will praise you forever.

Woofs of Wisdom

I went to a storytelling event. It was really amazing to hear all of the stories… There was sadness, happiness, and mystery in all of them.

The biggest thing I took away was not from a story though – it was from the dog. When I was younger I was afraid of dogs. It took me a long time to get comfortable with dogs but now I am often the person a dog will spend most of the night getting rubs from. I like to think it’s because I am vegan.

Usually when I am with an animal ( dog, cat… any animal) I try to lure it closer to me, to sit on my lap or next to where I am sitting. I realized that instead of trying to force the dog to sit by me, I could move to accommodate the dog. And I did. I got to sit in a new place and discover something new. By listening I find that I can discover so much : )

Scribbles from a Self-Discovery Workshop

My awesome friend Chris did a great workshop for my SFU club: The LOVE Club (Living Opposed to Violence and Exploitation). We had fruits and vegetables that got all eaten up! Yay! Here are some of my thoughts and inspirations from this workshop… my notebook scribbles if you will : )

• One of the first things Chris spoke about was the voluntary and involuntary changes in life. I think by CHOOSING (this is embracing, finding gratitude) all changes I can live better. Thanks CG for that perspective : )

• I was also pondering my stance on life… optimism, opportunism, pessimism… I think I am an adventurist! That is, I look at a situation and say, “Hey! This is Exciting!”

• Try embracing and letting go instead of clinging and resisting.

• I was thinking about self care. I think self care is basically breathing but in different ways. Breathing: it goes in and out and then around. I can “breathe” with my creativity, sending it in and out and around. I can “breathe” with my time management, putting it into myself, out into the world, and around to those around me… sort of a new way of looking at things for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfM9gQkfwyg

 WITHOUT A SONG OR A DANCE WHAT ARE WE?

• I think DUTY is a responsibility to others. This is a very important part of my life. It moves me to the four corners of emotion (joy, despair, anger and fear) – but what would my life be without this experience? I think I was born to be an activist.

• I was reminded to ask, “How am I contributing to your life?” and think of how others are contributing to mine.

• I want to make a sweater with a heart on my sleeve… hehe.

 

JENNI IS:

a creative, emotional, optimistic, extroverted catalyst.

a curious, skeptical, theorist.

a spontaneous, performing improvisor.

a dependable, multi-tasking stabilizer.

 • I am always curious about the relationship between self-discovery and acknowledgements… If I think about myself critically, especially surrounding my weaknesses am I just limiting myself and creating evidence that is not empowering? I asked Chris about this after the workshop and he said self-discovery is great to help people find blindspots.

• I mapped out my life and the moments that most defined me. Most of the cool things i’ve done have been the result of a desire for community. A search and a quest for belonging. It has led me to many wonderful places : )

• I also mapped out influential people in my life – I am so blessed to know so many diverse people!

Yay!

I Think I Fell In Love (on the skytrain)

Beautiful EyeI think I always knew that we are all of one… But I didn’t really realize it until I was staring into this boys eyes on the skytrain yesterday. It was the weirdest thing. I bumped into my transit friend again, for the third time via a bus. Usually if I bump into someone twice I assume it is a sign and some sort of divine coincidence or irony… but three times… wow that must be something special.

I am almost scared to write about it… what if he reads it? What if I ruin it? But then (as SuperForest Jackson Would Say) it is in the past, and it is already a fantasy. And it’s already open to the creation, interpretation, and the fabrication of my forgetful mind.

So basically I turned to my left at the bus stop and there he was, just standing there, reading. I said hi. We got on the bus and talked about wanting to get lost in a forest, and how gross fast food is, and what we would do if the martix was real (or is it? haha). He was really tired and kept almost falling asleep. We talked about Hippy University. He told me he lost his mind. I asked how. He said it exploded. I asked what it looked like. He said it looked like grasses. I said I think mine would look like rainbows and glitter. He said you don’t really know how it’s going to come out until it happens. I told him he was like the Mad Hatter and Cheshire Cat combined. He said he identified with the Caterpillar.

When we got to the skytrain we talked about being alone. I remembered how I think we are always alone (in our minds) and how we are never alone (in the world). Our disagreements weren’t like an argument, more like one person reminding the other of a different perspective, our thoughts blowing back and forth like the wind. He mentioned how he was tired and wanted to be alone… but then said it would be ok if I was there. Wow.

He said he had decided to be awake. I wonder if it was because of me. Then, i’m not sure exactly how but we just stopped talking and were sitting there next to each other, staring into each other’s eyes. While I was looking there I was trying to see inside of him (because they say that the eyes are the portal to the soul) but I noticed that there wasn’t anything to see. It was just me and myself. I had all of the these thoughts and I wanted to write about it, and tell people, I wanted to keep it a secret, and I wanted to know what he was thinking, and I wondered if he knew what I was thinking, and then I tried to send him some intentions (with my mind) so that he’d know that I love him, and then I wondered what he were trying to tell me by just sitting there and staring at me. And I watched him almost fall asleep, going in and out of consciousness, and I laughed because I know what that’s like and it was beautiful. I didn’t want to move. My heart was beating and I was ever-so aware. I realized that we were having a moment of being alone, together.

Part of me wanted to ask for his phone number or someway to contact him, but I didn’t want to do anything to ruin that moment or to change, it because it was wonderful.

Later I was pondering how unintentionally and amazingly romantic he is… the words he said, his eyes… but then I realized it isn’t him – it’s me! I think that romance is all open to interpretation. I can see something or hear something and think it is romantic – and then I create it to be that way. I was singing this when I got home…

I didn’t mean to waste the water
but I couldn’t feel my hands
I stood outside in the rain for 10 minutes today
and I wondered what role in my life that you’d play

I find this incredibly ironic because I often joke that if I had a pick up line it would be, “remember that time I starred at you?” BUT NOW THAT HAS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Anywayy… similar to our last meeting…

I love that I can fall in love a million times a day. And that connecting with another person doesn’t have to mean anything or have a future or a past. Just a moment. It was beautiful. Maybe this is my missed connection. Maybe it’s just a moment

Date a Girl Who Cares

So this was inspired by a piece that my friend Trisha wrote called “date a girl who writes” which was inspired by this post titled “date a girl who reads,” which was inspired by this post called “You Should Date An Illiterate Girl”. Yes. Hahaha! Happy Valentines Day!

Kindness

DATE A GIRL WHO CARES by Jenni Rempel

Date a girl who cares. Date a girl who spends her money on helping others instead of clothes. She has problems with time because she volunteers her life. Date a girl who has a list of solutions to the so-called “problems” our world faces. A girl who pines for a better future and thinks before she acts.

Find a girl who cares. You’ll know that she does because she will always have a smile on her face and a genuine interest in others. She’s the one lovingly looking over at strangers on the bus, the one who quietly commits random acts of kindness. You see the weird chick making eye contact with others to break these barriers people often put up? That’s one. They can never resist being polite to others and using “please” and “thank you”. You might also catch her recycling, digging through trash in search of lost bottles and cans, or picking up her three pieces of trash.

She’s the girl appreciating all she has while waiting in that coffee shop down the street with her re-usable mug. If you take a peek at her mug, the vegan creamer is floating on top. Sit down. She might be surprised. Ask her why she cares.

Buy her another cup of fair-trade coffee.

Let her know what you really think of war. See if she you have the same definitions of love and indifference. Understand that if she says everything is perfect, she says that with faith and an unwavering sense of shameless idealism. Ask her where she would love to travel to.

It’s easy to date a girl who cares. Donate your time and money to her favorite organization, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of love and listening each day. Give her hope and words of inspiration from Gandhi, Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama. Know that you do not need to give her anything for her to appreciate you and be happy. Let her know that you understand that actions are love, and that you choose love. Understand that she knows the difference between dreams and reality but by god, she’s going to live her dreams. It will never be your fault if she fails.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Be honest with her. She will understand and accept the validity of anything you might say. She will not judge you. If she does, she will apologize. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who cares knows that failure always leads up to success. Because girls who care understand that all things are opportunities for learning. That you can always try again. That everything you do is perfect. That life is meant to have these lessons.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who care understand that people grow, and that people are infinite in their potential.

If you find a girl who cares, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM watching a documentary and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if she is part of whichever truth brings her sadness, because she is.

You will propose on a volunteer trip. Or at a protest. Or very casually next time you’re at the local farmer’s market.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids who eat healthy and have incredibly strong values. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite “her wishes for the world” under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who cares because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most purposeful life imaginable. If you want the world and the beautiful future beyond it, date a girl who cares. Because she’ll love you. Because she cares.